Bucky, MiddleEarth, Play Nice
by Brandytook
Summary: A Get Fuzzy, LotR cross over, what more need I say? Erm, mainly movie based cuz I thought that'd fit Bucky's psyche better. (if you can credit Bucky with having a psyche.)
1. Where am I?

Bucky, Middle-Earth, Play Nice.  
  
One  
Where am I?  
  
Alright, first time I've ever attempted anything with Bucky, so I'm still working out the kinks of writing him. I own nothing, although I'm sure the cat I live with is Bucky's clone. But I don't think I even own her (the cat) so . . . I own nothing. (sob.)  
  
Bucky's butt hurt. More then it should from sitting on the couch all day, and Bucky knew about this sort of thing. He looked up and the first thing he noticed was that there was no TV, this was enough to startle him out of the zone he'd been in and he began looking around frantically.  
He was sitting in a circle of chairs, each chair contained a human and all of their attention seemed to be focused on one man, he was apparently in the middle of quite a long speech.  
" . . .By the blood of our people are your lands kept safe! Give Gondor the weapon of the enemy. Let us use this ring."  
Bucky was about to ask where he was when another man stood up, "You cannot wield it, none of us can."  
"And what would a ranger know of these matters?" The first man sneered.  
"This is no mere ranger!" yet another person stood up to join the argument.  
Bucky was feeling more and more lost by the moment. He stood up on his chair and yelled. "Hey! HEY! Where am I?"  
Everyone stopped abruptly and turned to stare at him.  
"You are in Rivendell, at the council of Elrond, do you have a suggestion on how to deal with the One Ring?"  
"No," Bucky said. "You guys need more comfortabler chairs though. I'll suggest that."  
The man who seemed to be the head of this gathering raised his eyebrows and then turned to the three who had been arguing. "Legolas, I belive you were speaking."  
Legolas looked around a bit bewildered. "I'm not sure what I was saying," he said and retreated to his chair.  
The second man sat down too leaving only the original speaker standing. "I know what I was saying," he said. "Why should we not use this ring against Sauron?"  
"Because," Elrond sighed as if this were the hundredth time he'd gone over it. "The Ring has a mind of it's own, anything that it does turns to evil. Our only option is to destroy it. It must be cast back in to the fires of Mount Doom from whence it came. One of you, must do this."  
"One does not simply walk into Mordor," that was from the argumentative one again. "It's black gates are--"  
"I'll do it," Bucky said, just to shut the guy up.  
Bucky quickly found himself the center of attention once more.  
"Do you understand the great responsibility you have just undertaken?"  
"No. But if you're going to 'splain it don't bother, you guys yak to much."  
"This is absurd!" cried a tall bearded man. "This . . . cat, has no idea what he is doing. We cannot trust him with the ring."  
"What is your idea, Gandalf?" Elrond asked.  
"We need someone who can be trusted, do any of you even know who this creature is."  
"I am Bucky Katt," Bucky said. "Half Siamese, half chain saw."  
"He sounds good to me," said a short bearded man. "I'll help him take the Ring to Mordor."  
"Sit down Gimli," Elrond said.  
Bucky, meanwhile had slid out of his seat and was wandering out of the circle of chairs in search of tuna.  
He was passing between two pillars, trying to follow his nose and failing miserably, when something grabbed his paw.  
"Hey," it was a man, only a bit taller then Bucky, with the light of mischief in his eyes. "Could you get them to talk louder?"  
"Maybe," Bucky said. "You have any tuna?"  
"Tuna?"  
"Yeah, you eat it."  
"Tuna?" Bucky whirled, there was another short person behind him.  
"Who are you?" Bucky demanded, starting to feel a bit nervous.  
"I'm Pippin, and that's Merry. And we're getting tired of standing here and not hearing a thing, so if you could get them to speak up a bit, that'd be nice."  
"I will, for tuna."  
"What's tuna."  
"It's a . . . Fish, I think."  
"Sh, sh," Merry hissed. "I think something's happening."  
They both turned to watch the council and Bucky found himself stuck, seeing as Merry still had a firm grip on his hand.  
"Frodo's going to take the Ring," Pippin cried.  
"We can't let him go alone," Merry said and ran for the small group that assembled around Frodo. He still had not let go of Bucky's paw and he was dragged back out into the sunlight.  
By the time Bucky knew where he was again Elrond was speaking, 'what else is new?' Bucky wondered.  
"So be it," he said. "Yours shall be the Fellowship of the Ring."  
"Great," Pippin said.  
"What?" Bucky asked. 


	2. I don't wanna go!

Own nothing, someday I will . . . Mwha ha ha ha ha!  
  
The fellowship was preparing to set off and Bucky was moping. Merry and Pippin had been dragging him around for the past two days and no one had even asked him if he wanted to be part of this fellowship. It really pissed Bucky off, especially because whenever he tried to speak up someone else started talking.  
"I don't want an apple," Bucky said. "I want tuna! Or at least some Pow."  
"Pow?" Pippin asked. "What's Pow?"  
"Soda."  
"What's a soda?" Merry asked.  
"You guys are hopeless," Bucky said and attempted to leave in search of someone who knew what he was talking about.  
"Hey," Pippin said grabbing Bucky by the tail. "Gandalf told us to keep an eye on you."  
Bucky hissed and swiped at Pippin's hand. Pippin, surprised, let go and Bucky tore out of the room.  
"We can't let him out of our sight!" Merry cried and ran after Bucky.  
The three of them ran through hallway after hallway. Until Bucky ran smack into Aragorn.  
"Get him!" Pippin cried as Bucky tried to duck between Aragorn's legs.  
Aragorn grabbed Bucky by the scruff of the neck and lifted him up to eye level.  
"What are you doing?" he asked.  
Bucky growled.  
"Aren't Merry and Pippin supposed to be keeping an eye on you?"  
"Tuna." Bucky said.  
Aragorn looked at him totally baffled. Bucky bit down on Aragorn's arm.  
After a brief scuffle Bucky was once more hanging by his neck, (much farther away from any bitable portion of Aragorn.)  
"Why are you not staying with Merry and Pippin?" Aragorn demanded.  
"I want tuna," Bucky insisted.  
"We don't have any."  
"I'm not going." Bucky snapped.  
"Going where?"  
"Anywhere. I'm staying right here."  
"But you've already agreed to join our quest."  
"I quit!" Bucky yelled.  
"Quit what?" Aragorn was not used to dealing with someone so illogical, he had been brought up among the elves after all.  
"Aragorn!" came Legolas's voice from outside.  
Aragorn leaned out a window, dropping Bucky to the floor. He sat there glowering his arms crossed.  
"All is ready," Legolas said. "We must depart."  
"I don't wanna go!" Bucky cried.  
Pippin scratched his head reassuringly. "It'll be fun," he promised.  
Bucky hissed at him. 


	3. Finding Fish

Own nothing, never will.  
  
It was a fortnight later and Bucky was not having fun. The fellowship had just started their journey through Moria and Bucky was more scared then he'd ever been in his entire life (well, excluding the time he'd seen a mouse.)  
Most everyone else was scared too but they did a better job of dealing with it. Bucky was clinging to Boromir's shoulders, his rear-half resting in the concave of Boromir's shield and the rest of him peeking over Boromir's shoulder.  
Boromir was none too happy with this, there was cat fur all over him and Bucky was constantly sneezing. Which made everyone jump, then they would all turn to glare at him before continuing on their way.  
"We will stop here for the night," Gandalf said. "If it is night," he added hastily, not wanting to sound uninformed.  
Boromir shook Bucky off and attempted to set up sleeping arrangements. It was extremely difficult, seeing as how Bucky had latched onto Boromir as a source of warmth and protection and was constantly getting in his way.  
"Would you get out of my way!" he growled at him.  
Bucky growled back and the two of them sat there glaring at each other.  
Finally Bucky got bored and realized he wasn't sure why he was glaring at Boromir and walked off.  
He wasn't tired, so stupidly he wandered into the darkness of Moria (which wasn't quite so dark to him.)  
He started to smell fish. Surprised he ran off in the direction of the smell.  
There was no way he was going to be able to find his way back to the sleeping fellowship when he finally came upon the hunched, sickly gray creature with the fish.  
"Give me!" Bucky cried running toward the creature arms outstretched.  
The creature turned to stare at him with huge luminous eyes, "Achsss," it hissed and striking out with it's arm knocked Bucky on to his back.  
Bucky yowled and sat up rubbing at his back. "I want some," he said. "I'll give you dried fruit for it."  
"Nasssty fruit," the creature said.  
"Give it," Bucky said attempting to catch light on his tooth so as to make it glint threateningly, sadly there was no light but that of the creatures eyes, had Bucky been thinking he'd have wondered how it's eyes could reflect light when there was none to reflect.  
"What about bread?" Bucky asked. "I'll give you bread."  
"Nasssty bread."  
"Dried . . . um, meat?"  
"Nasssty dried."  
"What about--"  
"Go away!" the creature shouted.  
"But I want fish!" Bucky was desperate, he didn't even care if it was tuna anymore.  
"Leave us alone."  
Bucky racked his brains, what could he do to make this stupid thing give him fish? "Please," he said, not even remembering what the word meant, he just knew Rob always wanted him to use it.  
"What did you say?" the creature asked turning to look at him.  
"Please. May I have some fish?"  
Emotions played across the creature's face, from anger to surprise to joy to frustration. Finally--still staring at Bucky--he picked up another piece of fish and held it out.  
Bucky grinned, this could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship. 


	4. Only a Couple Hours

I own pretty much nil, but I would like to take credit for Hairless Monkey. (The name, not the character, Gollum is far beyond my reach.)  
  
Bucky was not sure how long he'd been sitting with the creature, (he'd nicknamed it Hairless Monkey, although it didn't look anywhere near as appetizing as a monkey.)  
He'd had enough fish and after picking up a few more he headed back the way he'd come, hoping to find the fellowship and get some sleep before they decided to set off again.  
"Where's it going precious?" Hairless Monkey asked.  
Bucky still didn't understand the creature's idioms, he therefore didn't realize it was talking to him and continued walking.  
"We asked it a question."  
Bucky turned around, "What?"  
"Where's it going?"  
"What?"  
"Where's it going?"  
"Where's what going?"  
"The cat."  
"What cat?" They stood there staring at each other. "Oh," Bucky said. "I'm going back."  
"Back where?"  
"None of your business," Bucky said (only because the question made him realize he wasn't exactly sure how to get back) and strode away.  
The creature watched him leave and then after finishing the last fish slunk on all fours after him.  
  
The fellowship was packed and ready to go when they realized their smallest and most annoying member was no where to be found.  
"Bucky!" Merry called out turning in a circle.  
"Hush!" Gandalf hissed. "Unless you wish to bring orcs down upon us.  
"Aragorn, Legolas and I will go out and look for the creature. Gimli, Boromir, you stay here with the hobbits."  
"That's not fair!" Pippin cried.  
"Yeah!" said Merry. "We want to go exploring too."  
"Do you think you could find the way back?" Gandalf asked.  
Merry and Pippin looked at each other, "Maybe," Merry said.  
"Oh, sit down," snapped Sam. Merry glared at him but complied.  
Legolas returned first, Bucky trailing moodily behind him, he was still holding half a fish in one paw.  
"Can we look for Aragorn and Gandalf?" Pippin asked hopefully.  
"Where were you?" Boromir demanded of Bucky, trying to ignore Pippin.  
"Eating," Bucky said.  
"All night?"  
"I was only gone a couple hours."  
Boromir snorted.  
Gandalf returned a little later looking hot and bothered. "You will not do that again," he said to Bucky in a dangerously calm voice. "Merry, Pippin, I do not want you to let him out of your sight. I want no one to let him out of their sight."  
"How'll we sleep?" Merry asked.  
Gandalf did not answer, simply sat and glared at anyone who came near until Aragorn got back, at which time they made a quick departure, Bucky managing to scramble back inside Boromir's shield. 


	5. Very Brave of Me

I own nothing, and I'd like to apologize cuz this chapter ends on a downer and I can't write fight scenes to save my life. Wait until Bucky meets Galadriel, then all will be repaid, I promise.  
  
The next few days went much the same, Bucky managed to sneak out past whom ever was on watch. Which was quite a feat for Bucky, as he is not the most coordinated creature. Hairless Monkey helped him find his way back to where fellowship was sleeping every night and they set off again the following morning. Gandalf (and most likely Aragorn) knew Bucky snuck out every night, but as long as he was back the next morning they didn't see any harm in it.  
Then came the fateful day of the attack, Bucky was, as usual, sleeping in Boromir's shield when it happened. He was flung rudely to the ground as Boromir swung his shield onto his left arm, he lay there for a moment stunned and then leapt to his feet yowling loudly, nobody seemed to hear him, which he was not used too, his yowl had usually brought at least Satchel running. This pissed him off and he simply hissed and swiped at the first orc that came charging at him. The orc fell backwards, his arms wind- milling, he hadn't expected such an attack from something of that size. Another orc tripped over the first who was sprawled on his back and the two of them lay there stunned.  
Bucky grinned, feeling rather proud of himself, he tried his hiss, swipe tactic on the next orc but didn't get the same results. It snarled and jabbed at him with its cutlass. Bucky ran.  
He was soon leading the orc on a wild chase around the room; they circled again and again, leaving even more chaotic chaos in their wake. Then the cave troll's hammer squashed the orc.  
Suddenly everyone's attention was focused entirely on the cave troll and the orcs seemed to disappear. Bucky huddled against one of the pillars on the stone cusp that ran along one side of the room and watched the fight play out. There was no way he was going to take on something the size of the troll.  
Apparently not all of the orcs had disappeared though, because yet another one came running at Bucky. He leapt out of the orcs path and it promptly hurtled off the edge, screaming. It flew smack into the cave troll, his spear thrusting through the troll's ear. The cave troll staggered, with a look of utter shock on it's face and then fell to the floor with a resounding thump.  
"To the bridge!" Gandalf shouted and everyone started running. Bucky leapt down and landed on Gimli's back, his claws finding purchase in the rings of Gimli's chain mail.  
"We owe you thanks," Gimli said. "That was quite a feat, way laying the orc like that." He chuckled.  
"What?" Bucky asked. "I didn't . . . Right, right, very brave of me," and then he hung on for dear life as Gimli's choppy gate carried them through the halls of Kazad-Dum.  
They made many turns and escaped quite a few close calls on their way to the bridge and then . . . Gandalf fell, the Fellowship watched in horror as the Balrog's whip caught his legs and pulled him down into the darkness.  
Bucky wasn't quite sure what to think, sure Gandalf had driven him nuts with his bossiness, but he'd never actually seen someone die before.  
He remained clinging to Gimli's back as they found their way out of Moria; Bucky was for the first time in his life, sad. 


	6. Elves

Own nothing, never will. This chapter just got longer and longer and longer, I hadn't been planning on bringing Haldir in, but here you go, I hope it works.  
  
The fellowship had been jogging toward Lothlorien for a long time now. Bucky was not sure how long, he just knew that after a while Boromir had gotten tired of Bucky's claws in his back (Bucky didn't usually revert to claws, but Boromir did not have the most even gate,) and Boromir had removed him forcefully.  
No one had stopped to give Bucky a ride and he had been forced to run along with everyone else. His breathing was ragged and all thoughts of Gandalf had been forced out of his mind, seeing as it was completely occupied with taking in enough oxygen to keep him going.  
So, after an indeterminate amount of time, they arrived at the Golden Wood. Bucky was far from impressed, it was just a bunch of trees to him, (and everyone else except Aragorn and Legolas.)  
Aragorn raised a hand and the fellowship stopped, Bucky plopped unceremoniously to the ground, followed shortly by Merry, Pippin and Sam.  
"This is the elven realm of Lothlorien," Aragorn said. "We must tread carefully and hope for protection from the Lady Galadriel. Come, it would be best if we reached Caras Galadon before nightfall."  
"Oh come on!" Bucky exclaimed. "We just ran all the way from . . . Kaza-thingy and now we're supposed to walk some more?"  
"We do not want to anger the elves," Aragorn said. "We will need their help."  
"What are they going to do?" Bucky asked. "Throw cookies at us? Give us Christmas presents?"  
"Cookies!" Pippin and Legolas said at the same time with totally different inflections.  
"Yeah, you know. The little Keebler elves? The ones who make cookies and are always trying to get people to belive in them?"  
"Do you not belive in me?" Legolas demanded.  
"Well sure, you're standing right there. But you're not an elf. They look more like elves then you do," Bucky said gesturing at the hobbits.  
Legolas drew himself up to his full height and glared at Bucky.  
"Watch yourself," Gimli said. "You're speaking to an elf."  
Bucky shook his head. "Elves are little," he said adamantly.  
"I am no such thing!" Legolas nearly shouted.  
"But you're not an elf!"  
"What do you think an elf is?" Sam asked amiably.  
"The short little guys who work for Santa."  
"We are not short," Legolas said adamantly.  
"I never said YOU were, I said elves were."  
Frodo had been watching this whole argument fascinated. "Maybe there's more then one type of elf," he said, trying to figure out how what Bucky was describing could be elves.  
"Of course there are," Legolas said, "there are Silvan and--"  
"Nuh anh," Bucky retorted shaking his head. "Just the little elves!"  
Legolas simply glared at Bucky as if by sheer force of will he could make him change his mind. And seeing as how it was Bucky he most likely could.  
"We have no time for this!" Aragorn said. "We must reach Caras Galadon."  
Those who had sat, stood wearily without argument, although Bucky grumbled audibly.  
As they began to walk, Pippin worked his way toward Bucky and whispered. "Do the elves really make cookies?"  
*  
The fellowship walked through the golden wood in silence for the most part, Bucky was getting jumpy, there was something about this place he didn't like. It felt like there was something Bucky was missing, Bucky missed a lot of things but he wasn't used to noticing that he missed them.  
He had realized a little while ago that he would probably never see hairless monkey again and he was not too happy about that, he was going to have to go back to eating the god awful food contained in the rest of the fellowship's packs.  
His mind was somewhere else, so far away even Bucky wasn't sure where it was when something sharp poked him in the forehead. He blinked, discovering he had walked into an arrow which was nocked and drawn as far back as it would go, he looked up . . . and up . . . and up until he found a face perfect to the point of blandness.  
Someone farther ahead was speaking and he shifted his gaze, taking a step back to relieve the pressure on his head.  
" . . . so loudly we could have shot him in the dark," Bucky wondered if they were talking about him, the long journey from Moria and the magic of the golden wood we're taking their toll on him, he was feeling very light headed.  
"Haldir of Lorien," Aragorn said bowing his head ever so slightly. "We need your help, our party was attacked in moria and our strength is ebbing."  
"You bring great evil, to speak nothing of the dwarf and . . ." Haldir trailed off, staring at Bucky perplexed.  
"The dwarf and the cat will harm no one, I swear to you."  
Haldir looked at all of them suspiciously, his glance lingered on Frodo and Bucky before he finally turned back to Aragorn. "I do not know what the Lady Galadriel will say of this."  
Gimli snorted and the arrow inches from Bucky's skull swung around to aim at him.  
"Careful what you say Dwarf," Haldir said. "Or we will abandon you in the wood to find your own way out, if the orcs do not find you first."  
It was at that Bucky decided he didn't like Haldir--well, he didn't like most people but this guy really bugged him--he ducked through many pairs of legs until he was standing before him and stared up at Haldir defiantly.  
"Do you have any idea how long it's been since I've eaten?" he asked, before Haldir could respond he forged ahead. "Watched TV? Had Tuna? Played with Smacky? We've just run all the way from Kaz--Mor--Dum and your lady can sleep with dogs!"  
Legolas and Aragorn looked at each other completely mortified.  
"This is what you bring into our woods?" Haldir hissed.  
"Do we get a place to stay or not?" Bucky demanded.  
"After such words you should be glad I do not shoot you where you stand."  
Bucky rolled his eyes, leapt up and bit down on Haldir's arm. Haldir grabbed Bucky by the scruff of his neck and yanked, Bucky came off, a piece of cloth hanging from his mouth. He spat it out and glared up at Haldir.  
"I . . . " Aragorn began looking at Haldir aghast. "He knows not what he says. The magic of the forest must be affecting him."  
"What magic?" Bucky asked. "Are we going to start talking about elves again?"  
Aragorn grabbed Bucky out of Haldir's hand and clasped his hands over Bucky's mouth, holding him tightly against his stomach. "He does not speak for us all--"  
"That I know," Haldir snapped. "Aragorn . . . I will not ask your motives. Simply know that I would let no one else pass."  
Aragorn bowed his head, (much deeper this time) and the fellowship continued it's slow journey toward Caras Galadon with an elven escort. Aragorn kept his hands over Bucky's mouth the whole time. 


	7. Are You Calling Me Stupid?

Nine representatives of five different races stood before the lady Galadriel and her lord Celeborn. Celeborn looked somewhat confused, Galadriel—of course—knew exactly what was going on, but she preferred to let Celeborn figure things out for himself.  
"Nine there are here," Celeborn said and ran his eyes over the group once more, as if double-checking his count. "And nine departed from Rivendell, but Gandalf I do not see among you."  
"He has fallen, into darkness," Galadriel said, nudging Celeborn along the path to discovery.  
"I came from Rivendell too!" Bucky said raising one paw in the air. He wanted to get this meeting over with as soon as possible and Celeborn's deliberate pace was annoying him.  
"Yet Elrond said nine of you set out," Celeborn repeated.  
"Well then he lied."  
"Elrond does not lie."  
"Then he miscounted."  
"Elrond would do no such thing."  
"Well I'm here aren't I?"  
"Elrond did not deem it important to speak of Bucky Katt," Galadriel said, having given Celeborn as much time to understand what was going on as she was willing. "No one knows anything of him, but he is undeniably part of the fellowship, whether he likes it or not, and so he will remain."  
There was silence for a moment and then she continued.  
"Your quest stands upon the edge of a knife, stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all."  
Suddenly there was a voice in Bucky's head. 'You must learn when to speak and when not if you wish to survive Bucky Katt,' it reverberated around in his skull, giving him a very unpleasant feeling. 'Your words almost lost the fellowship their stay within the Golden Wood. 'You do not understand the importance of the quest set before you,' Galadriel continued. 'The lure of the Ring has little power over your mind, for you do not understand it's full capabilities.'  
"Are calling me stupid?" Bucky demanded out loud.  
Galadriel winced slightly, she was trying to set before these nine what lay ahead and what they must be prepared to do, and Bucky would spoil her rhythm if he were not quiet.  
'No, your simplicity will be your greatest strength. You will do everything without thinking and therefore make all the right decisions.' She relinquished her hold on his mind and finished speaking to the rest of the fellowship. Boromir looked like a nervous wreck and Pippin was shifting uncomfortably.  
Eventually the eight of them heaved a collective sigh of relief and Celeborn spoke once more.  
"Here you may stay until your strength returns, go now and rest. There will be much time for other things later."  
"Race you down!" Bucky cried and tore off down the spiraling staircases leading to the platform Galadriel and Celeborn had met them on.  
"Wait!" Pippin cried and ran off after him, Merry a little ways behind.  
Aragorn smiled after them, this place would do them good, he turned and nodded his thanks to Galadriel, but she already knew how she had changed their fate.  
  
Bucky awoke late the next morning and there was no one in sight. He was extremely hungry and set off to find some food. He managed to avoid everyone he saw, ducking behind bushes or running in the other direction. He hadn't liked any of what he saw of these scary, tall people.  
He'd been wandering for about half an hour when he fell off a set of steps and down into a clearing, a miniscule waterfall on one edge and a birdbath in the middle.  
Bucky sat up rubbing the back of his head and glared around at his surroundings. There was no one there and the sound of falling water and chirping birds created a sense of peace that Bucky was totally oblivious too.  
He stood and walked over to the stone basin the water was collecting in, scrambling up he knocked the silver pitcher off the rim and it fell to the grass. Bucky stared adamantly at the water hoping to see some fish. None were forthcoming so he jumped off and went over to the birdbath.  
The water within was crystal clear and there was once again no sign of fish. He was about to leave when the water became pitch black. He stopped and stared, perplexed.  
An image was resolving within but he couldn't make out what it was. He leaned closer squinting at it. It looked remotely like Satchel but he couldn't be sure . . .  
Then he had a face full of water, he'd lost his balance. The water was extremely cold and he flopped backwards and off the rim of the birdbath, falling to the giving earth.  
Before he could regain his senses he was dangling in front of Lady Galadriel. She glared at him.  
"You have disturbed the water," she said.  
"What?"  
"The mirror of the Lady of Galadriel, you have disturbed it."  
"So?"  
"It is forbidden to touch the water."  
"Why?"  
"You will mar the magic."  
"What magic?"  
"The magic of the mirror."  
Bucky stared at her, she was making no sense at all and Bucky didn't feel like asking questions till she made herself clear. "Can I go now?"  
Galadriel glared at him. "Why are you on this quest?" she asked.  
"What quest?"  
Galadriel didn't demean herself to answer, and continued to glare at him.  
"Oh, you mean the ring thing?"  
Silence.  
"Uh, Merry's fault really."  
"Do not push your responsibilities on others, Bucky Katt."  
"But it is his fault! He wouldn't let go of my paw so I was dragged along with him and Pippin when they volunteered."  
"You mean you do not wish to be here?"  
Bucky shook his head. "First of all your guys food sucks, second I haven't gotten a decent amount of sleep since . . . I dunno a long time, third we've got to walk everywhere, haven't you people ever heard of cars? Fourth—"  
"Stop," Galadriel commanded. "You should have made your interests clear before you left Rivendell."  
"I did! Aragorn wouldn't listen to me."  
"You are committed now, you must see this quest to its completion."  
"Fine. Can I go now?"  
Galadriel dropped Bucky and looked at him curiously. "Your mind is an odd one, but you may yet serve some purpose."  
Bucky rolled his eyes, and left the clearing tail held high.


	8. Fish

It's decision time, should I continue on after fellowship? If so in the same fic or a sequel? Also, any opinions on which of the groups get stuck with Bucky? I was thinking Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli . . . as always please review.  
  
Bucky hated water. He'd known this before, but now it was being driven home. He was sitting in a boat, a small boat, in a river, a very large and strong river, with a dwarf and an . . . and Legolas. There was no way Bucky was going to refer to Legolas as an elf, Gimli at least looked like a dwarf even if dwarves didn't exist either.  
It was their first day out on the river, Bucky was miserable and so Legolas and Gimli were miserable as well.  
Even Galadriel's gifts couldn't cheer him up. He rather liked the Lembas but still would have preferred tuna, Aragorn had decided that they should wear their cloaks at all times and Bucky's usually awkward movement was made even more so by the hindering piece of cloth. Gimli mentioned at least every hour that he had three golden hairs of the Lady of the Forest, all Bucky had gotten was a dagger, it was bright silver and glimmered in the sun but Bucky much preferred his claws.  
Their first night on the bank of the river was cold and uncomfortable. Every which way Bucky lay there was gravel digging into his back. Finally he dozed off actually missing his drawer in the closet.  
He was awoken by a sharp hiss near his right ear. He sat up slowly and looked around. It was Hairless Monkey!  
"Fish?" Bucky asked quickly.  
"Nasty creature won't even give us a hello."  
"Hi," Bucky said. "Do you have fish? I've been surviving on Lembas for the past week." Which wasn't exactly true but there was no way Hairless Monkey could know that.  
"Nasssty elves," Hairless Monkey stated.  
"They aren't elves," Bucky muttered and then reiterated his previous question. "You have any fish?"  
"Yes, yes. This way." He slunk a little ways off and Bucky followed eagerly.  
Bucky didn't even wonder why Hairless Monkey had bothered to wake him and risk being discovered by the fellowship. Hairless Monkey himself wasn't exactly sure, but having only one friend--who isn't even really a friend, but just another aspect of yourself--can get very lonely. Bucky was the only person who had been remotely kind to Hairless Monkey in a long time.  
The two of them sat in silence, Bucky gorging himself on fish, Hairless Monkey gnawed on one but spent most of his time watching Bucky suspiciously.  
Eventually Bucky could eat no more and he started to return to the gravel lined shore.  
"Not even a thank you," Hairless Monkey hissed after him.  
Bucky completely oblivious continued on his way.  
The next night went exactly the same and the night after. Bucky was once again getting into a rhythm that would keep him sane for the rest of the trip, (he hoped.) 


	9. No More Free Rides

Horribly long chapter, it's either sad or sappy, I can't tell, but I wanted to do justice to the end of the movie cuz . . . just cuz it deserves it (poor Boromir.) Anyhoo, can't write fight scenes—you knew that and . . . here ya are!  
  
It was decision time. Bucky didn't really care which way they went. Gondor seemed like it might be a bit more comfortable than Mordor, other than that he saw very little difference between the two; mainly because he simply wasn't paying much attention to the arguments that were being slung around by most of the party.  
Bucky was staring at the far bank in a state of complete zoned- outedness when Merry came back and drew all of their attention to the fact that Frodo had gone missing. As had Boromir.  
Sam and Pippin were off searching immediately, Merry a little ways behind.  
Aragorn shook his head in exasperation. "Legolas! Gimli, go after them, they should not be out on their own in this place. Find them and keep them with you. Bucky, follow me." And he dashed off into the forest.  
Bucky followed Aragorn reluctantly. He didn't see why he couldn't just sit on the bank until they found Frodo.  
Before long Bucky could no longer see Aragorn, his legs were much longer then Bucky's and the trees provided very efficient cover. Bucky didn't have enough breath to call after him or enough brainpower to remember which way it was back to the river.  
He sat on a log for a moment, wondering if he was more likely to be found, or to find someone. He quickly got bored of sitting though and he stood, wandering off in a random direction.  
He soon stumbled upon Merry and Pippin.  
"There're orcs everywhere, we've got to hide," Pippin said.  
Merry grabbed Bucky's paw and the three of them ran off. This felt awfully familiar. Bucky sighed and let himself be pulled along.  
They quickly found a hollow and yanked Bucky down with them. They sat in silence watching band after band of orcs run past. Then Merry spotted Frodo.  
"Frodo! Hide here!" he called gesturing emphatically with his hand.  
"Over here," Pippin added.  
Bucky watched in amazement as Frodo refused the safety of refuge.  
"What's he doin'?" Pippin asked.  
"He's leavin'."  
"No," Pippin cried and leapt from behind the root that had been hiding them, just as a group of orcs ran by.  
"Pippin," Merry said and leapt out after him. Bucky rolled his eyes, since when did people care about each other so much?  
The two of them froze as a huge Uruk-Hai came running over the hill.  
"Run Frodo!" Merry hissed and began jumping up and down. "Hey! We're over here."  
Pippin quickly caught on and the two of them began putting on quite a show. Before Bucky knew what he was doing he'd clambered out of the hollow and was making his way toward them.  
What did he think he was doing? Hadn't he just wondered why people cared about each other so much? It was too late to turn back now, all three of them were running for their lives.  
  
Bucky lay huddled between the roots of a large oak. Merry and Pippin were gone; the orcs had completely over looked him where he'd landed covered by the elven cloak. Merry and Pippin were gone and Boromir was dead. Then Boromir shuddered. Surprised, Bucky rose and limped toward him, the back handed blow that had sent him flying still smarting.  
Bucky stood over Boromir shivering, this was much worse then Gandalf dying.  
"Bucky," Boromir gasped. "To think you are the only one who will know of my passing. It is all for naught, I can see now . . . "  
Bucky had no idea what Boromir meant but he didn't like the sound of it.  
"If you go to Gondor, tell them . . . tell them Boromir . . . tried," he gasped again. Bucky was saved from replying as Aragorn ran in and spotted the two of them, before either could move an Uruk-Hai captain appeared sword raised, he roared out a challenge.  
Bucky stood there immobilized; the only thought running through his head was how would he get around now? With Boromir gone there would be no shield to shelter him from the cold. He continued to stare blankly at the trees in front of him as Aragorn and the Uruk captain faced each other in deadly combat.  
Bucky realized what was going on in time to leap at the huge Uruk- Hai, landing on his back and digging in his claws as he'd done so many times before. The Uruk was taken by surprise and wavered for a moment. Just long enough for Aragorn's sweeping blow to hit its mark.  
The Uruk fell over backwards pinning Bucky beneath his bulk, Aragorn, oblivious, ran to Boromir's side.  
Bucky hissed futilely and pushed at the heavy lump above him. It smelled worse than Satchel. He didn't know how long he remained pinned under the huge creature. It couldn't have been more then five minutes but it felt like ages.  
Eventually he saw light again. Gimli had rolled the carcass over; he offered Bucky a hand--which was ignored.  
The man, the elf and the dwarf stood there staring at each other in silence. Bucky repeatedly cracked all body parts crackable trying to regain his usual stance.  
"Then it as all been in vain," Gimli said. "The fellowship has failed."  
"Not while we three--four stick together," Aragorn said. "We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death."  
"So what are we abandoning them too?" Bucky asked.  
Aragorn glared at him, Legolas and Gimli smiled at each other and they knew that there was still hope left. 


	10. You're Dead

I have no idea why this chapter is acting like this, but it is, so the spacings rather screwed up, I tried my best. Really, I did.

Bucky was clinging desperately to a horse's neck, trying his best to keep from bouncing off. He had no idea how comical he looked, stuck between Aragorn and the horse's neck, every muscle in his body aching. When they finally drew to a halt, Bucky slid off slowly and fell to the ground.

He lay there, wondering at the fact that anything could be more painful and annoying than running all the way from that horrible river. Then he smelled the nauseating scent of charred flesh. He sat up slowly trying not to move anymore than necessary. There was a huge mound of burnt orc in front of them.

"It's one of their belts," Gimli said. Bucky looked from the crumbling piece of leather in Gimli's hand to the belt resting on his own haunches. Merry and Pippin were gone. How many had they lost on this forsaken quest? Bucky jumped (and immediately regretted it) as Aragorn let out a yell of pure frustration. He knelt, Bucky sat, Gimli stared and Legolas recited an elven chant.

"A hobbit lay here," Aragorn began suddenly. "And there another . . . Their hands were bound." He was on his feet now and running low to the ground. Bucky watched perplexed. There was no way Aragorn could know all that by staring at the ground. " . . . and into Fangorn Forest."

"What madness drove them in there?" Gimli wondered.

"It's just a forest," Bucky said.

"It's an old forest," Legolas countered.

"Shouldn't that make things easier?"

"Old with wisdom."

"So?"

"Shall we continue?" Aragorn snapped.

Bucky had to admit, the forest was kind of intimidating, especially because Gimli would not stop predicting doom and gloom and Aragorn was still acting like he could follow Merry and Pippin by their foot prints. There was bracken everywhere and the ground was never level for more than a few paces. It was getting close and stuffy and he desperately wanted to leave Merry and Pippin to their own devices, and get out of this forest. He didn't dare suggest it though, Gimli was in a foul mood; Aragorn would not take his eyes off the ground and Legolas . . . well, Legolas was Legolas, that was enough of a reason for Bucky.

Then they started talking in that other language. It drove Bucky nuts when they did that, for no apparent reason Aragorn and Legolas would carry on long conversations in . . . another language. Gimli didn't seem to notice, which made Bucky wonder if Gimli spoke it too and they were leaving him out on purpose. So focused was he on his interior rant he didn't notice when they made the switch back to English and so was taken completely by surprise when the glowing figure appeared, and even more so when Gimli hurtled an axe at it.

It did no good; didn't these people watch movies? You can't hurt angels, or glowing white things (which are usually angels).

"You are tracking the foot steps of two young hobbits," the glowing figure intoned. "They passed this way some time ago . . . and met someone they did not expect, does that comfort you?" Here was yet another person helping them out in riddles. He was sick of it! All these wise benevolent beings who were so high and mighty. Bucky—forgetting his previous thought—decided he was going to bring this one down a notch or two if it was the last thing he did.

Growling deep in his throat he leapt at the riddling being. If there was anything Bucky was good at (besides sleeping and eating) it was dealing maximum damage to a human figure. He'd had a lot of practice on Rob after all, so he landed, claws extended on the man's face and began to scratch ferociously. "Get off me you imbecilic cat!" the man yelled and fell from the rock he'd been speaking from. Quickly gathering his wits about him the man made a sharp movement with his staff and sent Bucky flying.

"Gandalf!" Gimli exclaimed.

Gandalf stood up slowly and brushed himself off pompously. "Yes, I return to you now in your hour of need."

"You're dead," Bucky said sullenly from where he lay at the base of a tree. He was not going to move again.

"It's a long story," Gandalf said. He had been planning on telling it to them the long way so they could understand what he went through to rejoin them but he didn't find himself so inclined any longer.

"We must make our way to Rohan."

"Why?" Legolas asked.

"There is no time for questions now."

"I can't move," Bucky said.

"You can and you will," Gandalf snapped.

"No, I won't. I was tired enough before you threw me into a tree."

"If you had not attacked me—"

"I'm sick of people only half telling us what to do so Aragorn always chooses the wrong way to go or the wrong thing to eat or the wrong person to talk to or—"

"We will leave you here in Fangorn then," Gandalf said.

"Okay! Okay! I'll come." Bucky hated this place as much as Gimli by this point. The four companions quickly set back toward the edge of the forest. Bucky hobbled after them complaining loudly.


	11. Helm's What?

Thought I'd try and liven things up a little, so I changed the format of this chapter some (yes I realized they're starting to become repetative,) and was inspired after re-viewing Return of the King (I can't believe it's all over, I REFUSE to believe it's all over.) Hope you enjoy.  
  
Bucky sat at the long, low table in the Golden Hall. Everyone in the hall (Gandalf, Théoden, Aragorn, Legolas, Gimli, Éowyn and the two refugee children) had given him at least one odd look.  
Bucky was reasonably happy, for a little while. He had something resembling food before him and it didn't sound like they were planning on going on any wild goose chases for awhile. Théoden was arguing heatedly with Gandalf, and Bucky wondered again at the change that had come over the king. He seemed almost alive, which was quite a leap from this afternoon.  
When they'd first entered the hall Bucky hadn't even realized he was there, an oily black robed man was the one who approached and the one who acted as if the hall belonged to him. Wormtongue, Gandalf had said his name was.  
Anyway, Wormtongue had prowled toward them throwing insults at Gandalf, and Bucky found himself liking the fellow, (which was exceedingly rare.) Anyone who had the nerve to speak to Gandalf in such a manner deserved high praise in Bucky's opinion, espicially because Gandalf had been needing a talking to.  
Quickly their places had been completly reversed though.Wormtongue was cowering on the floor as Gandalf strode confidently toward the king, Bucky was rather disapointed.  
Bucky snapped back to the present for a moment as Aragorn joined the argument. Bucky had no idea what they were arguing about and didn't really care, although it was amusssing to see Gandalf and Aragorn yelling.  
Bucky chose to ignore them and reminesce a bit more, he was rather proud of what had happened next.  
Wormtongue had run at the sight of Theoden regaining his strength. Nobody seemed to care that Wormtongue was leaving. Bucky didn't want him to go; he thought quite possibly the two ot them working together could do some major damage (or good, depending how you looked at it.)  
He ran after him calling, "Wait!"  
"Bucky!" Gandalf exclaimed.  
Bucky charged heedlessly after Wormtongue.  
The hall emptied behind him as Wormtongue fell down the wide stone steps.  
"Your leech craft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!" Theoden growled. Bucky couldn't help thinking that would have been amusing.  
Wormtongue was still cowering. Bucky's opinion of him was dropping by the second and soon it might even be below his oppinion of Satchel.  
Theoden raised his sword high. Bucky yowled and leapt on Wormtongure's chest. Bucky's opinion of him was not yet so low as to let the king kill him, since Bucky had latched on to him as a way out.  
"No, my lord!" Aragorn cried, grabbing Theoden's hand.  
Theoden struggled for a moment and then went slack.Wormtongue tried to stand but was forced back to the ground by the weight of Bucky on his chest.  
"Off!" Wormtongue shouted, trying desperately to stand, he could see anger rekindling in the eyes of Theoden.  
Wormtongue finally managed to stand, Bucky still clinging to him. Wormtongue did his best to run for the stables.  
"Bucky!" "Stop!" "Imbecil of a cat!" came the cries after them.  
Wormtongue continued to dodge the inhabitants, still trying to knock Bucky from his robes.  
The crowd on the steps of the Golden Hall stared after them. Shouts, yowls, screams and hisses could be heard emanating from the parts of the city which Wormtongue was hurrying through. He finally rid himself of Bucky outside the walls of Edoras. Bucky had watched him ride away, angry that his chance to get away from Gandalf seemed to have disappeared then he'd been forced to slowly, achingly and gloomily make his way back to the king's hall.  
"We will go to Helm's Deep." Bucky's head snapped up. It sounded like they were finished arguing.  
Aragorn and Gandalf were shaking their heads grimly.  
"What are they doing?" Bucky asked Gimli quietly.  
"We ride for Helm's Deep," Gimli said shrugging his shoulders.  
"Helm's what?" 


	12. The Armory

Own nothing and I never will but I keep coming back for more.  
  
Bucky was going to explore.  
He despised (so far) what he had seen of Helm's Deep. But he was in the kind of mood to give it a chance, (albeit a small chance) they'd left behind Aragorn and Legolas and Gimli and Theoden and all the other annoying horse men. Gandalf was long gone, off to find the man who had lent Aragorn the horse that had caused Bucky so much discomfort on the way to Fangorn and then to the Golden Hall.  
Now he was going to try and forget all that though. He was going to explore, at least till he found a comfortable place to sit.  
He wandered from stone wall to stone wall, gate to gate, turret to turret. This place was getting more and more disagreeable as he went on.  
There was nothing to hold his interest, and that was saying a lot for it didn't take much to hold Bucky's interest. Rohirim women and children were scampering around taking supplies to the caves and trying to make sure they were prepared for the siege ahead.  
It was a rather depressing air that hung over the fortress, every where he looked Bucky saw grim faces. He almost felt like doing something to cheer them up. Something to lift their spirits, he had no idea what that would be though so he quickly discarded the idea and continued wandering.  
Suddenly he was swept up by the scruff of his neck and swung around to meet a icy blue glare, "Why do you not help?" Eowyn demanded.  
"Cuz I don't feel like it," Bucky said hanging limply from Eowyn's hand.  
"No one does! We do what we do because we must, not because we choose to."  
"Well you're grumpy aren't you?"  
"You see this?" Eowyn said holding up a helm and a sword nearly as long as Bucky.  
"No, no I don't." What was with the woman?  
"You will carry them to the armory and then come back for more."  
"And if I don't feel like it?"  
"We must all do what we can to help," Eowyn insisted. "We must give the men a fighting chance." She bit her bottom lip, dropped Bucky to the ground pushing the sword and helm towards him and then turned away quickly.  
Well she'd just toped freaky blonde lady as the weirdest person he'd met so far. As he wandered off to find the armory (realizing he wasn't even sure what an armory was) he wondered if it had something to do with hair color, there was freaky blonde lady, there was Legolas and now there was Eowyn. His mind was happy to ponder that for as long as it took him to find the armory, whatever that was. 


	13. What's an Ent?

So, once again, who should Bucky go with? I'm awfully tempted to send him off with Gandalf and Pippin but I think him and Gimli in the paths of the dead would be hilarious. Any opinions?  
  
Merry and Pippin were alive! They were alive and they were eating and drinking in what appeared to be absolute contentment!  
Bucky wanted to kill them. Here he was, stuck on the back of a horse for the THIRD time and Merry and Pippin were sitting atop a pile of rubble eating and drinking!  
He was about to leap from the horse he was sharing with Aragorn to claw their eyes out when Gimli exploded. He started yelling at the two hobbits at the top of his lungs, they just grinned down at him. The sight calmed Bucky's temper to the point where Aragorn could keep him in check.  
Of course then everyone who had ridden with them to Isengard had to be introduced and Merry got rather long winded. Bucky was preparing to leap at him again when a tree walked up.  
Bucky paused to ponder what he had just thought. A tree walked up. A TREE walked up. A tree WALKED up. That didn't make any sense. He looked around the horse's neck. It was still standing there, a tree. A tree had walked up and was now standing there . . . talking! It was a walking, talking tree.  
Bucky was having an amazing amount of trouble wrapping his mind around this. One to many preposterous things had happened, elves being tall, okay he could deal with that, nasty orc things trying to kill him, it wasn't pleasant but . . . a huge creature made of fire and shadow, well his brain still hadn't exactly accepted that but, he was dealing with it. Finally he regained his wits enough to demand, "What the heck are you?"  
Gandalf stopped mid-sentance to glare at him and the walking talking tree looked down kindly.  
"I, am an ent," the walking talking tree said proudly.  
"Like that helps me. An ent," Bucky snorted. "What's an ent?"  
"A tree herder," Pippin chimed in helpfully. "A shepherd of the trees." Merry grinned at him, he loved it when Pippin actually remembered what he said.  
"You herd trees?" Bucky said. "That's got to be the lamest thing I've ever heard. Trees don't move, do they?"  
The ent looked down at him benignly, "The trees are growing dark, and dangerous, their hearts are filled with malice. We must--"  
"Aw, save it," Bucky said. "Can we go now?"  
Gandalf's glare redoubled and then broke away, "Lead the way to Orthanc, Master Treebeard."  
And so they rode even further into the ruins, for what reason Bucky was at a loss to explain.  
He hated to admit it but he was fascinated by this tree. He watched the way it moved and listened to how it spoke. This was something he could put into the context of his world, to some extent anyway. Finally he decided to have a closer look and so when they stopped for Gandalf to talk some more about Isengard and failing power and filth and blah, blah, blah, Bucky took it as his chance to jump from Brego's saddle to Treebeard's leg.  
Treebeard felt the mildest of sensations and bent down to brush away what ever had caused it, Bucky saw the large hand looming toward him and yelped. Making a mad leap to Treebeard's other leg.  
Merry began to laugh as Bucky tried desperately to avoid Treebeard's attempts at ridding himself of Bucky.  
Finally Bucky managed to scramble up on to Treebeard's shoulder where he yowled at him. Trying to ignore the fact that all of the gathered company were at least smiling by this point.  
"What do you want little cat?" Treebeard asked, unaware that Bucky was the sensation he had been trying to brush off.  
Bucky realized he wasn't quite sure and began to feel even more foolish, it was not a feeling he relished. He hissed at Treebeard and was about to head back down, he stopped aprubtly. How was he going to get down? Why was this stupid ent-thing so tall? He would not stoop so low as to ask for help so he sat there for a moment, trying to decide what to do.  
"Come down, Imbecile of a Cat, we do not have all day!" Gandalf called up at him. He was then immediately distracted by Pippin's escapade.  
"Come on, Bucky!" Gimli yelled. "Ya can do it."  
Bucky looked down again, and then over at Treebeard. He couldn't do it. There was no way he was going to get down unaided. So he settled himself on Treebeard's shoulder to wait the rest of them out, someone would come up with an idea eventually.  
It was only a moment later when Treebeard reached up, lifted him off his shoulder and set him back down on Brego.  
Gandalf muttered something under his breath and then looked up to Treebeard, "I entrust Isengard to you Master ent, we must be on our way."  
And so, they rode off again. 


	14. More Interesting Than the Wall

Own nothing, never will.  
  
There had been another long, painful ride BACK to Edoras, was Bucky the only one who noticed that they were going in circles? Never mind the wild goose chases and extraneous trips.  
Then there had been a party. If you could call it a party, it was on of the most boring things Bucky had ever witnessed.  
Now he was in a room full of snoring Rohhirim men. Plus Gandalf, Merry and Pippin. He was having an amazing amount of trouble falling asleep. He was Bucky, he should be able to sleep anywhere. But instead the snores permeated his ears and seemed to rattle around in his skull. He was going to go insane! He began matching each snore to the person it came from, it was tedious enough to slowly make him groggy. There were only three snores left to match to their owners when Pippin got up.  
"What you doing?" Merry asked groggily.  
Pippin hushed him and tip-toed towards Gandalf.  
Bucky rolled over and tried to ignore them. He wasn't going to let them pull him into anything else.  
He was forced to pay attention again when Aragorn and Legolas burst in and Gandalf jumped up and a stone ball went rolling past Bucky's face. Attracted by the movement he stood and chased after it, Gandalf oblivious to this fact tossed his cloak after the Palantir and ended up covering both it and Bucky.  
Bucky sat there, staring into the Palantir's depths, watching the shadows move. He couldn't see why Pippin had found it so interesting, or why it had freaked Gandalf out so much.  
The light patterns playing within it were more interesting then those he usually watched on the wall, he'd give it that, but other than that it was a large granite—crystal—rock—thingy that didn't seem to serve much purpose. He almost thought he heard a snort of disgust from within in it right before the cloak was yanked back.  
"Do not tell me you looked within it's depths as well," Gandalf sighed.  
"I didn't," Bucky said.  
"We will see about that." He hoisted Bucky up to his eye level and glared at him. Bucky fidgeted uncomfortably. "Did you look within the Palantir?" Gandalf demanded.  
"That big ball . . . thingy? No."  
"I find myself disinclined to believe you."  
"Well, I'm inclined to be right."  
"You will come as well," Gandalf said quietly and then, to those who had awoken during the preceding events. "Let us rest till tomorrow, much will be discussed then." 


	15. Let Me Off!

Alright, I swore early on that I'd never do something like this, but here I go . . . NO ONE'S REVIEWING! Should I bother continuing? There are other fics that require my attention too . . . so, is anyone still reading? Let me know.  
  
Bucky was once again . . . stuck on a horse, had been for the past two days. He'd been managing to sit patiently for the last three minutes, but he couldn't take it anymore, he let forth with a wail of, "I wanna get off! Just leave me here."  
Gandalf ignored him.  
Pippin was busy snoring in his ear.  
This was not the first time Bucky had made such a plea. The first two times Gandalf had patiently (sort of) explained to him that it would be more dangerous for him in the woods than it would in Minas Tirith and that he should learn from his most recent blunder, both times this had caused quite a stir, as Bucky was adamant that he hadn't done anything, and Gandalf was sure that he had. Anyway, after the first two demands Gandalf had decided the best course of action was simply to ignore Bucky. Gandalf had been trying very hard to do this for the past day and a half.  
Pippin had awoken sporadically and asked questions that Bucky couldn't have cared less about. But Gandalf would go on and on, explaining to him in minute detail what Nazgul meant, or why Aragorn hadn't returned before now to claim the crown. Whenever Bucky asked a question Gandalf would either answer it with a curt yes or no, or pretend he had not heard it.  
Pippin was still snoring. He snored louder than Satchel.  
"I WANNA GET OFF!"  
No response.  
"If I make enough of a racket don't you think I'll make someone notice me?" Bucky asked. "I could draw trouble to us. Let me off!"  
"I would very much like to, Bucky Katt."  
"Then why don't you?"  
"You will come to Minas Tirith."  
"I don't wanna!"  
"That is your ill luck."  
"No, it's your stupid luck. There's no reason you need to drag me along. Let me off!" This was the longest conversation the two of them had had on this ride and Bucky was not about to let it stop, so when Gandalf didn't respond he continued. "This whole stupid quest thing is a waste of time. Doesn't Frodo have what ever we need? Why are you bothering riding around everywhere when we could just sit and wait and let him deal with it?"  
Gandalf sighed but did not respond.  
"And even if YOU are determined to go on this pointless journey to some messed up city that's supposed to have a king but the king is to lazy to bother reclaiming it, then go ahead. Tire yourself out, waste your time. I've got things I want to be doing. Let me off! There's no reason for me to be here, you don't like me, I don't like you. You're even worse than a ferret," Bucky said, the idea dawning on him all the sudden; he thought it was a rather good analogy, actually he thought it was a rather good compare- thingy, but that's not the point. "Anyway," he picked up his rant from where he'd left off. "I don't need to be here, and I know you don't want me here so . . . let me off! I'm just gonna keep talking until you answer me or, let me off! So you might as well do something because—"  
"Are we there yet?" Pippin had woken up.  
"No," Gandalf said. "We should reach Minas Tirith at mid-morning tomorrow."  
"See, that's what I mean," Bucky said, ignoring the interruption. "Who talks like that? Mid-morning? Pshee, I die and come back to life, I used to wear a dorky looking hat, I say mid-morning. Why won't you LET ME OFF!"  
"Is Bucky all right?" Pippin asked quietly, looking back at Gandalf.  
"He is Bucky," Gandalf said simply.  
"Course I'm Bucky, who else would I be? I'm Bucky, and I'm being dragged all over the place by horse after horse after horse, and I never actually get to ride with someone interesting. I'm always stuck with you, or Aragorn, the idiot who won't reclaim his kingdom and . . . "Bucky continued to rant.  
"Can we get him to stop?" Pippin asked.  
"I do not know."  
"He's getting annoying."  
"You're one to talk," Bucky countered. "If I'm annoying you're annoyinger, dropping that helmet down the well, getting captured by orcs, and besides that, it's your fault I'm here. If you hadn't dragged me along to the stupid council thing then the stupid elf guy—who really isn't an elf because he's too tall—wouldn't have assumed that I wanted to come, which I don't. Let me off! I've got all these orcs trying to kill me and it's been who knows how long since I've had any tuna. I really don't understand why I'm here. I don't think you do either. You just—"  
"QUIET!"  
Bucky stopped abruptly. Whether Gandalf had forced magic into his words or whether his voice was simply commanding enough to shut Bucky up was beyond Pippin. All he knew was that Bucky stayed quiet until mid- morning the next day. 


	16. I Don't Want to Talk to You

Own nothing, never will.  
  
Pippin wasn't supposed to say anything. Bucky wasn't even supposed to go inside. That's what Gandalf had said, "Bucky! Wait here."  
"What if I don't want to?"  
"I can make you stay."  
Gandalf actually wanted him inside, for two reasons: one, then he could keep an eye on him and two, because he was not sure how to explain his presence to Denethor, sight was better than sound, at least when it involved aging stewards. But Gandalf had gotten to know Bucky well over the past months. Even in a situation in which he trusted Pippin to be quiet, he would not trust Bucky.  
So, Bucky sat on the grand, marble steps leading up to the mighty hall of Minas Tirith. He made for a very amusing sight, a dumpy, dirty Siamese surrounded by the most regal Gondor had to offer. The guards in the dorky looking helmets were casting confused glances at him. Bucky did his best to ignore them.  
He didn't want to be sitting out here, he was bored and angry. Stupid idiot Gandalf telling him what to do, well Gandalf wasn't the boss of him, he was going to go inside and tell Gandalf exactly what he thought of him. Of course Bucky had just done that a day ago and it hadn't made much difference, but Bucky didn't care. He wasn't one to give up after only one try—if he even bothered to try at all.  
With what looked like resolve he stood and walked toward the broad doorway. The guards looked at him, and then at each other, shrugging they let him through. If they'd let Gandalf in they didn't see how much more damage this insignificant being could do.  
Bucky felt little amazement at the wide marble floors, or the stern statues of previous stewards and kings, he imagined it would be fun to slide on the well-polished marble, but he wanted to approach Gandalf more threateningly than that, so he strode down the hall, trying to look intimidating.  
Pippin noticed him first, and tried desperately to make him leave. He had already added his bit and didn't see how Bucky was going to help matters any. "Sh!" Pippin hissed, gesturing at Bucky. He knew Gandalf was in a precarious situation, although why, was beyond him. Denethor's attention, although hard to catch, was not impossible. "What is that?"  
Gandalf turned, he already knew what he was going to see, and wondered why he'd brought either Pippin OR Bucky along. "That," he sighed, and turned back to Denethor, "is Bucky.  
"He is . . . with me."  
"With you?" Bucky said. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
"Denethor," Gandalf said, deciding to ignore Bucky, "you must rally your forces!" Denethor paid him no heed. "What do you do?" he asked of Bucky. "Bucky doesn't really do anything," Pippin supplied.  
"I did not ask you." Denethor glared at Pippin.  
"I sleep," Bucky said, as if that was something to be proud of.  
"What else?"  
"I eat."  
Denethor shook his head. "There must be something—"  
"Out!" Gandalf snapped, trying not to lose his temper. "Out now! Both of you. I must speak to Denethor alone." He shoved both Bucky and Pippin towards the door with his staff.  
"They will stay!" Denethor commanded.  
"We must speak of vital matters," Gandalf insisted. "You may converse with them later."  
"Do not presume to tell me what I may and may not do. I wish to speak with them now!"  
"Well I don't feel like talking to you," Bucky said and with a running start he slid all the way out of the hall.  
"He is not worth your time," Gandalf said, trying to force Denethor's attention back to him. "There are important issues to discuss."  
"So be it," Denethor muttered and slid down in his seat. Pippin disappeared out the door after Bucky, glad to be out of that oppressing hall. 


	17. How Was He Going To Survive This?

Errrr, this is another weird chapter, don't know what came over me, but I rather like it, so this is what you get.  
I own nothing. Stupid PJ getting to these characters first. (You know I'm joking, right? PJ is god.)  
  
Why was he here? He hadn't idiotically pledged his allegiance to some old king . . . steward . . . whatever.

No, he'd sat outside. Pippin should be here, not him. Pippin got the cushy job, guarding the king—steward, (what the hell was the difference anyway?)

Gandalf had plopped Bucky on a wall amidst a LOT of Gondorian soldiers, all of who glared at Bucky whenever he so much as twitched. They would not let him move more than an inch away from his post, or, what Gandalf had decided was his post. Stupid wizard, when did he get the right to boss him around?

That's when they first heard the thumping, the pounding, the inexorable rhythm of Mordor's army.

Actually Bucky had no idea what it was, he just heard the _boom . . . boom . . . boom_ and the sudden hush of the soldiers around him. It bugged him that they seemed to know what was going on when he didn't. He thought about asking, and then decided against it, he didn't want to look stupid.

_boom . . . boom . . . boom.  
_

What was it? There was dust rising into a great cloud over the hill, at the far end of the grassy expanse that lay in front of Minas Tirith, and it seemed to be getting closer.

A few of the men closed their eyes and whispered fervently as if in prayer. Bucky wondered who they prayed to. Seemed the closest thing to a god here was that Sauron--eye, thingy, and nobody seemed to like it much.

What was up with these people? What was going on?

_boom . . . boom . . . boom.  
_

Bucky could smell the fear radiating from the men around him. He desperately wanted to know what had them so freaked.

The dust cloud was closer, accompanied by the steady thumping. It sounded familiar; he wracked his brain trying to decide what was happening.

He saw two soldiers clasp hands and hold each other's gaze, communicating something on another level.

What was going on? It really was totally beyond him. He couldn't put 2 and 2 together.

As the dust began to settle, horns began to blow, a captain—the stars of Gondor gleaming on his chest—said, "Fight with honor."

HELMS DEEP! That's why it sounded familiar, it was the same pounding noise the Uruks' feet had made at Helm's Deep.

Bucky looked up, the dust was settling, his jaw dropped. How was he going to survive this?


	18. Returning Home

Sorry it took me so long to update, but I finally got to it, and now I'm finished. I was tempted to have five or six endings all followed by a black out, but I couldn't think of enough, so there's just the one. I own nothing, please review.

Hope you enjoyed the ride.

------------------------------

Bucky walked along the path down from the coronation slowly. He was tired and grumpy. Everyone was celebrating, Sauron was defeated, Aragorn was king, people were getting married off left and right. All he really wanted to do was go home. He stopped and stared at the leaves of the trees above him. There was another thing they were all freaking out about, the tree re-blooming. That's all they said, THE tree, like there was only one.

Sighing he resumed walking down the path. He didn't really feel like walking but he didn't want to hang around with the joyous crowds above him. They were becoming very irritating.

Even Legolas and Gimli were enjoying each other's company, they'd given up their competition to kill more foes and were actually talking to each other.Bucky was going to be sick. They had supplied some amusement through these past battles, but no longer.

He still wasn't exactly sure how he'd gotten out of any of this alive, he still had the dagger the Lady Galadriel had given him around his haunches, he hadn't drawn it once. He pulled it out now and watched it glimmer in the sun, spears of light dancing every which way. One of his paws snaked out in an attempt to catch the darting light. He was quickly running about the path in circles, chasing after the reflections from his dagger.

That's when Merry and Pippin found him.

"We've been looking all over for you!"

"They're going to have a great feast. You have to be there."

"I don't want to," Bucky said. "I'm done."

"Of course you're done, we're ALL done. We can go home," Merry said.

"But first there's a feast," Pippin added.

Bucky thought of Hairless Monkey, of all the people he'd met in this screwed up place, Hairless Monkey was the only who hadn't died or wasn't here. Bucky didn't even know if anyone else knew Hairless Monkey existed, there was going to be no way to find him.

"Hey," Merry said, his brows drawing together. "Where do you live?"

"Not here. I'm not going back to the feast." Bucky turned and continued walking down the path.

"Wait! Don't you—"Merry laid a hand on Pippin's arm.

"He doesn't," Merry said. Pippin glanced at him, you could see his mind working as expressions played across his face. Then, with a nod, the two of them walked back towards Minas Tirith.

Bucky hummed tunelessly to himself and continued meandering down the path. His mind wandering, suddenly he realized he knew where he was, if he followed this path a little bit farther he'd end up at the hole in the wooden fence surrounding the back yard of his apartment building.

Bucky turned around and looked back. There was an odd sort of double image behind him, the tangled undergrowth that was soon to be torn up by bulldozers to make room for yet another apartment complex was superimposing itself over the gleaming white city of Minas Tirith. Bucky wondered if he turned around which reality he'd end up in. Before he could decide if he wanted to try though, Minas Tirith faded completely from view.

Bucky was strangely sad, but suddenly he realized he was home and there was tuna waiting back at the apartment, he almost leapt for joy and then began to run quickly down the worn dirt path.


End file.
